Lavender Brown and the Great Fuckchase
by Smutmonger69
Summary: Since her bite, Lavender Brown is subject to some unholy cravings. Little does she know, she is not the hunter, but the hunted, as the males of hogwarts become incensed with fuckrage. And Hermione is jealous. Antics ensue.
1. Chapter 1

div class="title" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; color: #020007; line-height: 21.3333339691162px; background-color: #dbca91;"The great fuck chase of Lavender Brown / Scat-tastrophy! (fanfic)/div  
div class="copy" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; color: #020007; line-height: 21.3333339691162px; background-color: #dbca91;"  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify;"Lavender Brown was what they call a 'beast' in the sheets. Ever since being bitten by a were-wolf in her seventh year at Hogwarts, Lavender had been experiencing spontaneous, insatiable cravings for human meat. One morning, at breakfast, Lavender was eyeing some deliciouly obese second-years as she shovelled bacon into her mouth, pretending the crispy pig flesh was the delicious bouncing booty she was currently molesting with her eyes. The Gryffendor table's bacon supplies were soon depleted, and yet her hunger yearned still./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'OMG, LOOK ITS VOLDEMORT!', Lavender yelled, pointing to the Great Hall's entrance to cause a distraction. While all heads turned, Lavender snatched an owl out of the air and stuffed it into her mouth. She was plucking feathers out of her mouth as everyone turned back to look at her, annoyed./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Lavender, how dare you,' began McGonagall, her voice shrill with indignity, 'That girl has cancer!'. Lavender sat up in her seat to see and looked around. Under the great stone-arch of the entrance stood a small pale, bald first-year who began to sob into a taller girl's robes. Lavender literally face-palmed as she remembered the girl was bald and so pale because of her recent chemo-therapy sessions./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Ten points from Gryffindor! And, I'll see you in my office immediately, Miss. Brown.' Said McGonagall and strode off huffily./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"The meeting with McGonagall was not as bad as she feared. She explained:/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'I saw these delicious asses just waddling past me, and I was out of bacon!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"The Professor reclined in her seat and said wistfully: 'Yes… I too know of these… delicious asses.' McGonagall closed her eyes and licked her lips./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Please Professor, I don't' expect you to understand but I crave human flesh constantly!' Lavender pleaded. 'Oh? And why wouldn't I understand cravings of that nature?' she looked offended, 'I'm just an ordinary woman Lavender,' the Professor leant forward onto her desk and squinted at Lavender through her spectacles, 'I like a man to nibble on my ear…. I like a man to romance me. I once knew a guy,' she said chuckling, 'who used to bring me to his balls, oh such fun we'd have, I do LOVE balls, don't you Miss. Brown?'. Lavender just stared , wide-eyed. 'Oh yes,' McGonagall continued, 'he took me to all of his friends balls too, oh yes, the Yule ball, the Hallowe-en ball…..'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Oh!', said Laender relieved 'I thought you meant-'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'And his COCK as well, my goodness, his cock, what a sight'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Lavender pushed her seat a few inches away from the horny Professor./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Yes, he had a cock, and some hens too, oh! And a cow, he was a farm-boy, Dougal, yes…'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Lavender released a sigh of relief when McGonagall started again:/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Oh, and the was he used to TICKLE MY PUSSY, GOOD GREIF LAVENDER!', McGonagall exploded, and then panted, apparently out of breath./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'..Your pussy? Uhmmm, you mean like your cat right?' came Lavender's small voice./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'No, I mean like my vagina' said McGonagall seriously, and stared hard into Lavender's face. 'You're a bit weird you, Lavender, aren't you?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Listen Professor!' Laender slammed the desk with her hands and shot up 'I CRAVE DELICIOUS FLESH! HUMAN FLESH! THE FLESH OF MAN!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Yeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh' said McGonagall coolly, 'Yeah, you go girl! GURL POWAA! You DEMAND what you want from yo menz!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Realizing the Proffessor was not taking her seriously in the least, Lavender strode purposeful out of the office, aggressively slamming the door as she left./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"She was descending the stairs when she realized to her horror the elderly Professor was following her./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'HOLD UP HOGWARTS, WE GOTTA WOMAN ON A MISSION HERE' boomed McGonagall's ghetto voice. Lavender tried to cover her face with her hand as she trotted quickly away from McGonagall, breaking through a gaggle of hufflepuffs./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'THE FUCK IS A HUFFLEPUFF' Mcgonagall shouted as she shouldered past them, the hufflepuffs watched in horror as the head of gryffindor house pulled a boom-box from under her dress and mounted it on her shoulder. It began blasting the Beastie Boys as McGonagall noticed their stares. 'YOU DON'T EVEN NO ME, M8! WORD!'./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Being bout a century younger than the Proffessor, Lavender though she could outrun her, and she was right. She was charging towards the closed doors leading to the great hall when the echoing lyrics of the 90s boy band seemed to have faded finally./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Her jaw hit the floor as she beheld the contents of the great hall, there, perched ontop of the Gyrffindor breakfast table was a massive, shiny, pink convertible that bounced up and down as it blasted Nicki Minaj into the castle. In the driver seat was none-other than McGonagall, oversized sunglasses all but covering her wrinkled face. When she spotted Lavender she hollered 'DER SHE IZZZZ, MAI HOEMGURLL LAVIIII! OVER ERE GURL!' She beckoned her over. Lavender was too shocked to argue. The students, who had been in the middle of their breakfast when the convertible arrived, did not know quite what to make of it. Some of the more ghetto Hogwarts students and professors donned neon sunglasses and began to bop and twerk to Nicki Minaj's smooth beats. Collin Creevy even whipped off his trousers to reveal a tight pair of golden booty shorts with the word 'JUICY' written on the back; he realized this was the perfect opportunity to show his dope pole-dancing skillz, unfortunately there were no poles in Hogwarts so he was forced to use a particularly tall and thin Slytherin instead. The crowd went nuts./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Professor, why are you doing this?' Lavender shouted, struggling to be heard over the shitty pop music./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'YALL LISTEN GOOD. MY HOMEGURL LAV BEEN MISSING THE DICK LATELY SO, I BE WANTIN' YALLZ TO JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AND JUST STICK IT IN HER, MKAY?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Every male student in the room, including some male staff, cheered./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'I CANTZ HEARZ YALLZ?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"The sound of male cheering got louder./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'THAT'S MORE LIKE IT! STICK IT IN HER BUTT, SPLORG IT IN HER BUTT,/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"STICK IT IN HER VAG, THAT'S WHAT IT CALL MAGIC!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Lavender covered her breasts self-consciously as every male eye turned on her with the same ravenous hunger as she had had for them earlier./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Have you ever heard the sound of a thousand pants-zippers being unzipped at the same time? Neither had Lavender Brown before this fateful day. She fled./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;" /p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"She had been running solidly for an hour, and yet the crowd of horny teenagers was still hot on her trail, and still hot for her tail (if you know what I mean wink wink). She chanced a look back, the crowd was red faced and sweaty, much like her self, moans of lust called after her, and their uncovered erections bobbed obscenely as they ran. As she raced down the corridor, a stream of white liquid flew past her ear, another one narrowly missed her skirt and sailed into a frowning bust of Albus Dumbledore, covering the marble with it's stickiness. As Lavnder ran past, she was sure she saw it smile. More streams of jizz whizzed past her and made small holes in the walls like bullets. The chase was like one of those animal planet documentaries where a lion is chasing down a zebra, exept instead of a zebra it's a hot blonde and instead of the lion it's a crowd of leaky dicks. The chase continued for days, the crowd of boys had become more a semen-tsunami that raged through the halls moaning and calling 'LAVENDERR… LAVENDERRRRR…..' like a ghost who really liked light purple. Thankfully some boys began to get dehydrated because of their constantly weeping trouser-snakes, and Ronald Weasly cracked his head open because he slipped on his own love-gravy. The only respite Lavender was able to find was in the Hogwarts basement, which was where they kept the special needs children./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"The smell was so appauling, she was sure no normal people could dare enter. Lavender spent as little time as possible there though; 'IT'S A-DOUBLE FUCKING P-L-FUCKING E. YOU FUCKING SHIT-MUNCHER' Lavender exploded at a girl-with a messed up face after spending literally twelve hours straight trying to spell the word 'apple' and failing. The basement had no windows so the special-children had to shit on the floor, don't worry, its not as bad as it sounds, they really enjoy using it as play-doh. A boy who was born with a front-butt offered Lavender a handful of gloopy shit and said 'Lets play Ice-cream parlor!'. It was that exact moment Lavender decieded to never enter this room again. What's more, the males of Hogwarts had been producing a massive volume of semen, which filtered down through the floorboards and was slowly flooding the basement and the other low-down rooms of Hogwarts. As she left the room of special children, she looked back at the new people she had met; the messed-up-face-girl who couldnt spell apple, the boy with a front-butt… For a moment she wondered if she would miss them once they drowned in cum. 'FUCK NO' she verbalized as she slammed the door. Lavender tied a padlock around the handles of the door. And left. Before returning to add another padlock./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"The chase, 'which had come to be known as 'The Great Fuck Chase Of Lavender Brown' had become a legendary period in Hogwarts history. Even the females of Hogwarts were enjoying the chaos, 'Lessons are officially cancelled' announced a horny male staff member one morning 'Until I can taste Lavender Browns sweet cunt…' saying the girl's name aloud triggered a massive erection which forced him to sit down, where he began wanking vigorously into his porridge. The students cheered at this (at lessons being cancelled not the teacher wanking) all except one Hermione Granger who looked distraught. 'Lessons can't be cancelled! It must be illegal or something!' Hermiones gave the crowd a searching look before she had a solemn realization. 'If this is what I must do to get my lessons back…' she muttered under her breath before striding over to the teacher's table and hopping up in the centre. 'Your all pretty horny over Lanvender but does anyone wanna fuck ME!?' She said with a big grin. The hall was dead-silent, somep people pretended to vomit. She tried again: 'SO I HEAR YOUR LOOKING FOR A SEXY BABE?' she yelled to the audience 'WELL HERE I AM' she called in what she hoped was a seductive tone. Luckily she had decided for no reason to go commando today so when she lifted her skirt her unshaven japseye was able to meet the astonished gazes of the students. Hermione squirmed on the table as she picked up one of Hagrid's sausages and began rubbing it up and down her cunt. 'Yeahhh, you like that? That sexy enough for ya? Yeahhhhh?' As she dipped the hot greasy banger in and out of her vajajay and butthole, most of the audience began retching, for real this time. The vomit formed a shallow pool, like the pools you go snorkelling in at Sea-world, but no one felt like going snorkelling because it was vomit. Lavender was able to watch all this because she had disguised herself as a boy by creating a massive paper-Mache penis that was so long it trailed along the ground. However, her expertly crafted penis acted like a sponge and it sucked all the vomit up, Lavender only got a C in her GCSE art so her shitty fake penis crumbled away like a biscuit in tea exposing her delicious nether regions for all the world to see. The heavenly scent of the ambrosia secreted by Lavender Brown's vaginal glands filled the air and attracted the boys as if they were bumble bees and Lavender was a flower (well, Lavender is a kind of flower technically). Also the boys were like bees because of some obscure religious festival that you've never heard of required some of them to dress up in sexy bee outfits like Lewis on the Yogscast did that one time. Once again, Lavender found herself beset by horny teenager boys trying to poke her with their swollen dicks, only this time there a bee theme, and McGonagall was their queen. She had not left her bouncing pink convertible in all the weeks the chase had been going on, she parked her desirable car in her seat behind the teachers table so Mcognagalls hideously fake-tanned face was about five feet higher than everyone elses, giving her the perfect vantage point form which to view the room. Lavender had a silent moment of mourning for the Mcgonagall she used to know, kind, clever, wise. Soemthing had happened to her that day in the office, something that had turned her into this punk-ass, white-trash, Nicki-Minaj loving hoe she saw before her now./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'DER MA GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURLL, GURL HOW YOU BIN, GURL!' erupted Mcgonagall as she spotted Lavender./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'LOST YO V YET, LAVENDERR?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'NO! No, I haven't lost my virginity yet, Professor McGonigall! And I never will! Not like this' screamed Lavender as the boys approached her, their footsteps squelching in puddles of vomit and semen./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'FUS RO DA', shouted Lavender (who is also the Dragonborn) the shockwave was tangible as it blasted the boys into the air like bowling pins, their boners flopping madly like distressed giant squids with only one tentacle. As Lavender fled the scene, the raging crowd of boys charged after her, McGonagall vroomed along in her bouncing pink convertible too, leaving the room empty except for Hermione, who still had Hagrids greasy banger poking out of her pussy, she looked abashed; 'So… nobody wants to fuck me…?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Lavender knew there was only one person who could help her now./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"She busted into the hospital wing, and yelled 'MADAME POMFREY'. The plump nurse appeared, 'What ever is the matter child?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'There's no time to explain but I've realized I'm a massive slut and deserve the punishment dealt to the sluts of Hogwarts!' Her voice was desperate./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Oh? Finally realized what a little whore you are eh, Lavender?' Madame Pomfrey had a wicked smile as she began to fumble in a cupboard. She pulled forth a long metallic object which glinted menacingly in the light. Her head whipped around and barked 'Disrobe'. Lavender obeyed, exposing her nakedness to the witch-doctor. Madame Pomfrey wrapped the metal chastity-belt around Lavenders waist, and used magic to fix it, permanently in place. When it was secure, Lavender glanced at her reflection in the mirror, her desirable beach body now adorned with the large metal chastity-belt, sealing away her groin from view and protecting her juicy cunt and butt-hole from the ravenous erections that were now pounding on the door./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'LET US IN, LAVENDER!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'I PROMISE TO BE GENTLE'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'I WILL NOT DIE A VIRGIN. I WILL NOT DIE A VIRGIN!' chanted Neville./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Fine boys, I'm coming out now' called Lavender playfully. She removed the barricades from the doors and stepped through to meet the crowd. The boys held their massive throbbing boners like guns attached to their crotch, Malfoy had even attached a miniature sight and laser pointer to the end of his, which he was pointing at Lavender now. The laser pointer reflected off the Chastity-belt and made Lavenders crotch light up like a disco ball. Lavender walked sexily through the crowd hips-swinging. 'That's right boys! Deflate your massive cocks, you aint getting none of this business right here!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"The predators turned into paparazzi, as they wiped out their iphone 4Gs; in an instant the internet was flooded with pictures of Lavender Brown rocking her disco-ball-chastity belt one piece. Harry was streaming live to , there were over 100 people in the chat! Neville was a fashion blogged on tumblr, and photos of Lavender earned him 100,000 new followers! Draco was recording 7 second videos and uploading them all to vine, he had already made the front page! Of course, not everyone was happy about her chastity belt, Blaise Zabini still tried it on with her. He snuck up behind her and wrenched her hips backward to collide with his massive BBC. It looked like a game of whack-a-mole as his long muscle-rod collided with the metal panties, and was squashed down to a bloody stump./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Bitch inverted my D!' Blaise shouted. The crowd cheered. Lavender thought to herself, Is this it then? The great fuck chase of Lavender Brown is over? Finally?.Her breasts moved freely in the open air as she cat-walked through the halls, followed by her adoring crowd of photobloggers. My virginity is safe! Safe for Robert Pattinson to take with his succulent vampire icicle-penis! Lavender's lady parts gushed with tuna-juice at the thought of Robert Pattinson, she expected to feel the familiar feeling of warm fingers of liquid running down her leg, but the chastity-panties held tight, and no liquid escaped./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Hermione rushed towards her, 'What's happened? Have you fucked Lavender yet?'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'No Hermione, nobody fucked me, and no one will ever again! Except the twilight guys'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"'Oh dear … So.. does anybody wanna piece o' dis azz?' Hermione said, jutting her hip out. Her skirt had been hitched up so high it covered only half of her ass cheeks, and she was commando so her limp lipped lower-love-cave flapped madly as she shook her butt. Droplets of slime flying everywhere. Lavender waltzed straight passed her, and she was tramped by the crowd./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"Hermione lay there on the corridor floor, flat like a pancake, the crowd had left deep footprints all over her body, and penis and vagina fluid filled them making puddles. Tears too because she could not help herself but to release a few at the thought of remaining a virgin forever. Lavender would pay for this./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-weight: inherit; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em;"END OF CHAPTER 1 OMG/p  
/div 


	2. Ch 2 - Lavender Brown's Scat-tastrophy!

p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Chapter 2. Scat - tastrophy!/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Three weeks had passed since Lavender had acquired her chastity-belt, and nothing had entered her lower holes since. That, she was happy about, unfortunately, nothing had exited her lower holes in that long either. It was a problem she had not predicted, and it occurred to her one morning at breakfast: I really really need a shit./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;" /strong/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"She had noticed an unexplained weight gain, strange since she hadn't been eating more than usual, but it was clear to her now that she was three months pregnant with a massive shit baby, and it was way overdue for delivery. It was twins too, because she hadn't taken a piss for three months either. If she slipped away from the crowd of teenage tumbloggers which refused to leave her alone, and told Madame Pomfrey about her little problem, Lavender was sure she would have the belt removed for long enough to have a serious shitting session, and then she'd put it back on and bob's your uncle. Her ass would be free of shit and dicks forever more./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Her breakfast of toast wriggled it's way down her gullet and into her overfull belly. Her insides groaned mournfully as they tried to stretch another inch bigger to accommodate yet another meal. Suddenly, Lavender experienced something of an inner-earthquake, as her bursting bowels tried to forcefully projectile shit out of her ass hole, but of course failed, as the path was blocked by a wall of metal. The piss said to the shit: 'It's no use! Theres no way out! Retreat, retreat!' and so the piss and the shit scurried hurriedly back up. One lil shit said to the other, 'You're gonna think I'm crazy but I got an idea..' and then the two lil shits started to whisper to each other. Lavender Brown strained to hear the conversation her shit was having with itself inside her butt. She felt the goopy substance rise up into her ribcage and then through her neck./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Lavender are you crying?' asked a concerned Colin Creevy, holding out a napkin./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Crying? No. What-!?' Lavender's world had taken on a distinctly brown hue. As she rubbed her eyes, her hands came away shitty. She felt a warm sensation flowing down her cheeks. I'M CRYING SHIT, she thought. Snatching Colin Creevy's handkerchief, she tried to push all the shit back into her eye hole. She opened her mouth to say 'Thankyou', but instead of a polite phrase, a long stream of piss fired from her throat. Colin sat there being shot with piss, like a supersoaker./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Omg Colin, I am so s-' Lavender Brown could not finish her sentence, as she belched up a rotten turn which flew into Colin Creevy's face. Colin licked his lips, and Lavender ran./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"br /br /strong/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Many students noticed the mysterious brown skidmark that trailed through the castle, nobody could have guessed it had emanated from the lovely Lavender. She had to remove her belt and fast! Bursting into the hospital wing, she found it was empty apart from some random ugly geek but who the fuck gives one about her./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Merlin's saggy left testicle!' exclaimed lavender, shit leaking from her eyes and nose./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Looking for this Lavender?' came a long drawling voice. It was Hermione, standing with her back turned to Lavender, eyes glinting with evil. In her fingers was-/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'The key! Give it Hermione!' said Lavender./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Nu uh uh', said Hermione, 'You scratch my back I'll scratch yours….'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'I'll scratch your back right off bitch!' Lavender lunged at Hermione, but being full to bursting with shit and piss made her slow and clumsy, and as Hermione dodged out of the way, she fell to the floor, her metal-kini clanging on the stone floor. Hermione kicked Lavender over, so she lay facing up at her, the brunette's face was silhouetted but the evil glint shined bright./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;" Hermione placed a foot on Lavender's lower stomach, she could feel the churning shit inside the girl./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Hermione, what are you-!?' Lavender screamed as Hermione increased the pressure of her foot on Lavender's stomach. The shit was pushed from down below up to her head, and her head inflated like a balloon full of shit. With all her might, she concentrated on not letting shit and piss explode from her face./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'I'll do it! I;m crazy!' said Hermione, 'Unless you do me a favour….'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'What - anything!?' Lavenders speech bubbled with pressurised shit./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'I want you …. to FUCK ME!' Hermione's face was like this :D ./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Lavender was all like ;-; ok, so she got up and cradled hermione in her arms./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Yes! Do me! Do me like one of your french girls!' yelled Hermione, as Lavender's fingers explored her secret garden. Lavender closed her eyes and thought of Robert Pattinson. The two girls were open mouth kissing when a 20 inch long turn flowed up her digestive tract and deposited itself in her mouth and then Hermione's. Instead of being disgusted, Hermione was electrified with passion by the taste of poo, and gobbled it up eagerly, brown frothy bubbles expanding around the two girls' mouths like they had rabies. Lavender was pretty pissed, so she took out her aggression by punching Hermiones cunt, hard, her hand reached so far inside Hermione, her fingers could feel her beating heart. This was her chance! She grabbed Hermione's heart and squeezed hard. Surprisingly, Lavender squeezed so hard that her fingernails fell off and shit poured out into Hermione's arteries. Lavender wrenched her arm out, it was covered in shit and blood, Hermione's face was stunned. The brunette spluttered and fell backwards, dead. Lavender snatched up the key and fumbled it against her metal-kini trying to open it, but it, and the key and her fingers were slick with fluids. The key jumped from her hands and clattered over the floor, Lavender bent to pick it up, when a pair of strong hands clamped hold of her and pressed her to the floor./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Hermio-'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'You'll pay for that, bitch!' Hermione roared and pressed her foot hard into Lavender's stomach./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Shit and piss was forced into Lavender's upper body and head, the pressure was intense and excruciating. Every vein in her body bulged and her eyes boggled as she neared bursting./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"The hospital wing was filled with the most grotesque squelching noise as shit and piss streamed from Lavender's eyes, nose, mouth, ears, and titty-teats. Streams of shit even flowed out of her hair follicles, like when you put playdoh in that thing that pushes it through that shape. Lavender lay there motionless, like an exhausted frube of shit that someone had squeezed dry. Her skin was so brown she look african-american./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'Now I know why they call you Lavender BROWN' said Hermione, panting./p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Hermione stood over her, crying at the beauty and evilness of what she had just done. Was lavender dead? Had she killed her?/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"*GASPING*/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"Lavender's eyes looked like choco balls in her head, they rolled around as she gasped. Her nose and mouth was full of shit and piss she coughed it out to say:/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"'That was …. That was AWESOME!'/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"strong style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-style: inherit; font-size: 1em; font-family: inherit; vertical-align: baseline;"br /br /strong/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"And so Lavender and Hermione decided to become girlfriends and hold their shit in for months and then be like shit frubes and have it explode out of their faces 3 3 3/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"THE END/p  
p style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; font-family: Baskerville, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; vertical-align: baseline; line-height: 1.3; text-align: justify; text-indent: 1em; color: #020007; background-color: #dbca91;"epilogue: when they were both in college, they filmed their little poop-play sessions and uploaded them to 4chan. '2girls 1 cup' became viral and lavender and hermione became internet famous TEH END LOL/p 


End file.
